Dad Critiques Parents Who Hand Out Cheap Halloween Candy

Author image for mattstaff
mattstaff
Sep 26, 2019 8:00 PM EDT

This dad went off on his Facebook post about how he's just plain old fed up with parents handing out cheap Halloween candy to kids. It's got just the right amount of delusional choosing beggar entitlement that we're fairly confident it's got to be a joke. There's just no way a dad would go this far. We've got to hope, at least. 

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  • 01
    Text - Halloween is officially 6 weeks away, and I was hoping to catch you all before you make your candy selections. Over the last three Halloweens, I've noticed my son's candy stock has become more and more diluted with cheap candy. I don't know if this trend is the result of the referendum, high water bills, or even the construction, but cheap candy has somehow infiltrated our community for Halloween and it has to stop. Dum Dums, Smarties, and Jolly Ranchers may be suitable for Northlake, Vil
    via u/BeepBeepScuzzi
  • 02
    Text - For the elderly who hand out coins, unless you plan on throwing some quarters into the mix, stop peddling your pennies and step up your game this Halloween. It's a calculated loss to the trick or treaters after you adjust for inflation and the opportunity cost of what they could have received elsewhere if they had just skipped your house. And while we're setting the guidelines for acceptable candy this season, let's also keep dark chocolate out of circulation. These might make a great che
    via u/BeepBeepScuzzi
  • 03
    Text - For those who do not want to take my advice, let it be known that this year, there are several of us parents patrolling and monitoring the candy distribution of houses in our neighborhood. We will be carrying around small cans of spray paint and marking the sidewalks in front of your house with a red dot in hopes of preventing others from experiencing the same ill fate and time wasted. We will also be noting your address and creating/ selling a color-coded map for the 2020 Halloween seaso
    via u/BeepBeepScuzzi
  • 04
    Text - YourAverageGod 5d Last year my girlfriend and I bought candy not a single person came to our door
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  • 05
    Text - Red_King 5d Translation: Egg my house
    via u/BeepBeepScuzzi
  • 06
    Text - ruby516 5d I used to live in Elmhurst. It's a nice town but it's not the Hamptons. This has got to be a joke.
    via u/BeepBeepScuzzi
  • 07
    Text - LadyMjolnir 5d Only parents would pay attention and tag houses depending on who gives what. They're the ones with time on their hands. The kiddos don't care, they just want stuff My front door is around a corner and up a hill from the main neighborhood, so kids don't often make the trek. I suspect it's the parents who don't want to follow them all this way. For this reason I give out Costco sized candy bars. Word has gotten out, but we still only get a small handful of kids. But last year
    via u/BeepBeepScuzzi
  • 08
    Text - verdantwitch 5d "No child enjoys dark chocolate"? Was I not actually a child when I was excitedly pulling dark chocolate bars out of my stocking at 7 years old?
    via u/BeepBeepScuzzi
  • 09
    Text - sciencess91 5d As a woman who loves dark chocolate, I'm playing my OFFENDED card
    via u/BeepBeepScuzzi
  • 10
    Text - thelemondictator 5d He's acting like he's the manager. Not gonna lie, but I bet the entire neighborhood is either not gonna give his kid any, or just give the really cheap stuff to spite him even more.
    via u/BeepBeepScuzzi

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candy dads entitlement halloween parenting facebook ridiculous choosing beggar
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